I write this post at the risk of some serious eyerolls, but I feel like it’s valuable to discuss nevertheless.
When I decided to start my new business venture, I realized I had to make some changes in my life. I realized I had to believe that I could succeed. I had to banish all my self-doubt and believe in myself like I never have before. I had to remain undeterred by any obstacles or setbacks and have complete belief that I was absolutely going to be successful and failure wasn’t an option.
Doing a complete 180 in my mindset wasn’t easy, though. I am a person who hopes for the best, but doesn’t always necessarily expect the best. How was an attitude of always worrying the other shoe would drop ever going to help me succeed? If I’m always waiting for that “I told you so” failure, would I ever truly be successful?
This is where I think I might get some flak. You guys, confession: I watched The Secret. I KNOW. I know. Like, how much time have I/we spent making fun of The Secret? But y’all, it spoke to me. I saw it at the right time and it made sense to me. Put good energy in, get good out? Yup, that’s something that has been instilled in me since childhood. I was just always terrible at adhering to it. But staying positive and expecting positive is something I have to actively work at all day. Turning my mind from stressing about bills to being confident I have money coming in is a really hard adjustment for me to make. I’ve spent my entire adult life worrying about money.How do I stop worrying and start KNOWING that my personal financial crisis is coming to an end? How do I stop worrying about the most minute things regarding my kids and instead KNOW that I’m doing a great job and they’re turning out wonderful? How do I stop worrying about being stuck in my current house forever and instead KNOW that we’re going to get the perfect home for us in a fantastic school district? I make the effort every single day to adjust my way of thinking. I am steadfast in my effort to change my thoughts into positive ones. I spend every morning going over my “vision board” (I know, I know, I KNOW) and every evening listing all the things I’m grateful for in my journal.
It’s hard. It’s an adjustment. But for me, it’s so worth it. What’s the harm in staying positive? What’s the harm in being convinced good things are coming my way? What’s the harm in believing I will live a life free from financial stress doing a job I love and spending my days with my family? What’s the harm in believing one day soon we’ll be in our dream house? I don’t see any harm. And any setbacks are met with the attitude that the good stuff is just ahead of me if I simply push through and remain positive.
I dunno, you guys. I know this isn’t for everyone, but it’s really helping me. The anger and annoyance and anxiety that I was carrying around with me wasn’t doing anyone any good. Not me, not my kids, not my husband. Putting positivity into the world feels a helluva lot better too. So maybe it’s cheesy. And maybe it’s unrealistic, but it’s the path for me. I am the only one putting limits on myself and I’m through doing that. It’s time to see myself as someone whose success and happiness is unlimited and fully within my control.
(If you want to watch The Secret and see if it’s something that appeals to you, I know you can stream it on Netflix right now.)
Mac is at his 2nd day of preschool today and things are strangely quiet around here. It’s odd being here without him. I miss him! This is going to be such a weird new routine to adjust to.
I’m really excited for him to come home in a half hour!!
Yesterday, Mac had his first day of preschool. I feel like we were prepping for that day for ages so I think we were all pretty excited when it finally arrived. Up until last week, Mac insisted he would not be attending school. He got very agitated when it was mentioned and refused to entertain the idea. Once he met his teacher last week, though, and saw his classroom, he was totally game. Still, I was a little nervous that yesterday would see a resurgence of his school stubbornness. My worries (as usual) were unfounded.
I brought him to school, hung around and waited for the teacher to open up the classroom, and urged him to go ask the names of some of his new classmates. Just as he approached a group of kids and they all found something incomprehensible to giggle about, the teacher opened the classroom door and the excitement everyone felt was tangible. Mac began to run for the classroom, but quickly turned around to give me a hug. I choked back tears of happiness and pride as he run through the door shouting, “I’ll miss you mom!” all the while knowing that he absolutely would not miss me at all.
When we picked him up, he was still all smiles. Happy to see us, happy to be at school, happy to be surrounded by other kids, happy to be wearing his brand new spiderman backpack (ugh, I hate merchandised gear but god help me, I am powerless to Mac’s love of spiderman).
I’m thrilled he loves school. School was such a source of joy to me for so many years and I really hope he continues to be excited about it.
Now, time to go process the fact that I have a kid who is old enough to be in preschool! You guys, he was JUST born!!!
I spend all day, every day with Mac and it still shocks me when he makes observations and statements like this. Mac took so long to start speaking and verbalizing his observations, that it continues to take me by surprise when he expresses such complete thoughts. This past weekend was so much fun playing with Mac and watching how his mind works.
I’ve been worried about how Mac would do without his friends around every day. Sure, he and Fitz enjoy rough-housing together, but it’s obviously not the same as having kids your same age to play with all day. But Mac has done great. He’s been a little quieter, a little snugglier, but he’s also unexpectedly blossomed. He whines less. He seems to have matured. He’s become better about deciding what he wants to play and problem solving ways to play it (ex: he isn’t allowed to play puzzles when the babies are awake b/c they eat the jigsaw pieces, so he figured out a place where he can play without them interfering).
He starts school on Thursday and I think that’ll be really great for him. While he may have grown this last week, I still feel very strongly that peer interaction is good for him. Plus, maybe this is selfish, but I’m also looking forward to meeting some of his classmates’ parents and forming a new network of local parent friends.
All this change recently has been a huge adjustment for all of us, but it’s also been really exciting. I can’t wait to see how preschool affects and changes Mac. I’m actually really starting to embrace these opportunities and better yet — Mac is too.