I’m writing this one last post, and then I’m really going to try to be done talking about this because I know how lucky and blessed I am and it just sounds bratty to whine about this.

I’ve gone through yet another month of not being pregnant.  My period was 2 days late and as much as I tried to keep my hopes in check, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least getting a little excited at the possibility that this month was the month.  But it wasn’t.  And that is so disheartening and frustrating and downright depressing.

The thing is, I’m really good at being a mom.  No, I’m more than that.  I’m a GREAT mom.  I’m not great at many things.  I’m ok at a lot of stuff.  But I kick ass at being a mom.  There is never a doubt in my mind that I am the best mom Mac could ever have.  Am I perfect? Oh lord no, but I am exactly the mother that this family wants and needs.

So that being said, it just seems so unfair that it is never an easy thing for me to get pregnant.  When I want it and I’m good at it and I make such darn cute babies, then why can’t it just come easily?

Wah wah.

I’m being whiney and bratty and ungrateful.  I know.  And I’m sorry.  I am aware there are people who have it so much worse than I do.  But please allow me this pity party this month.  Because even if I don’t have it the worst, it still sucks.

sigh

Ok. I’m done.  Back to positive thinking.  Back to hoping.  Back to trying.  Back to the drawing board.