Recently, Mac has been quite a pill in the sleep department.  I don’t know what his deal is, but he doesn’t go down at night without a fight and frequently wakes up sobbing in the middle of the night.

As frustrating and exhausting as this is, I find I don’t actually mind it as much as I thought I would.  Ok, the bedtime difficulties can wear on my patience because by the time 7:30 rolls around, I am ready to clock out and lay brain dead on the couch, but those 2:00 am wake-up calls don’t bother me as much as you might think.

Mac is almost a year and a half.  He is go, go, go all the time.  I get some cuddle time in the morning and The Husband gets some cuddle time in the evening, but other than that, Mac wants nothing more than to wiggle free and create chaos all day. 

In the middle of the night, though, all that kid wants is to be snuggled by his mama.  I sit in the rocking chair and I rock until my legs go numb and sing until my voice goes hoarse.  I kiss his little head as he nods off in my arms and hold him tight as he gently snores.

My baby doesn’t fall asleep in my arms anymore.  He doesn’t have that milk drunk exhaustion he had when he was a nursing infant.  And having my baby sleep in my arms was one of my favorite parts of motherhood.

So yeah, I’m exhausted.  And yeah, I miss getting a reliable full night’s rest.  But I’ll give up my solid night of sleep anytime if it means I get to feel that sleeping baby in my arms again.