Yesterday’s post was meant to be private.  I don’t know what happened, but somehow it published. Awkward!

This morning I woke up and within an hour, got my period.

It embarrassing to have written what I wrote yesterday and get my period today.  It’s embarrassing to go through this emotional roller coaster publicly and I’m afraid that I’ve created an environment of pity rather than support.  These ups and downs have been downright torture for me and it’s starting to wear on The Husband as well.  Realizing that he is suffering silently alongside me (rather than just trying to be empathetic for my sake) has also made me feel bad about blogging about my troubles rather than going to him about it.

That is, after all, why I originally started this blog.  I started it so that I wouldn’t burden him with my anxiety.  But now that I know he is going through the same heartache I am, it seems selfish to pour myself out on this blog rather than lean on him and allow him to lean on me.  Plus it seems selfish to drag all of you through these highs and lows.

So it’s time for me to take a break.  I don’t know how long it’ll be.  Maybe it’ll be a couple days.  Maybe it’ll be a couple weeks.  I don’t really know.  But I need to step away from the blog and I need to step away from the internet for a little while. 

I am BEYOND thrilled for all the growing families out there.  Dearest internet friends, please know that I am so happy for those of you who are growing your clans.  I have loved reading about your journeys and watching your children and bellies grow.  But it’s too hard right now.  It’s just too hard to watch those kids who have grown up alongside Mac getting a sibling that he can’t have yet.  In my real life, I’m seeing that scenario play out and it is so bittersweet, and I just can’t put myself through it on the internet as well right now.

I’m stepping away from my blog, and from the blogosphere in general.  I hope it’s not a permanent departure.  I can’t imagine it would be.  I can’t imagine abandoning this cozy little blog home I’ve built forever.  I can’t imagine not checking in on the friends I’ve made online.  But I will be MIA indefinitely.

Thank you all for your prayers and support and endless supply of kind words.  In my darkest times you all helped lift me up.  I don’t know what I would have done these last few years without this community.  Thank you all so much, and I hope to be back soon!